


You're so close yet I can't reach you

by mintchocthusiast (hwanghyunjin03)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Hana Han coincidence? I think not, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, based on even a fool knows mv teaser, film school club, wanna put hyunho tag but not enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwanghyunjin03/pseuds/mintchocthusiast
Summary: Seungmin has always loved Hyunjin, even if Hyunjin doesn't love him back. It pains him, but for Seungmin, loving Hyunjin is enough even when Hyunjin loves someone else.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 88





	You're so close yet I can't reach you

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is solely based on Even A Fool Knows mv teaser. I wanted to write hyunho, but look what I end up with LOL anyway I'm not really good at emotional delivery so I hope you can enjoy reading! Adios!~
> 
> PS: English is my 2nd language so spare me for any mistake.

“It’s done! I’m done!”

Hyunjin, who is quietly checking up his camera at a corner, is visibly startled when a stack of papers which seems like a book without a proper cover is thrown on the table in front of him, almost dropping his expensive camera in the process. Gripping tight to his camera (so he doesn’t accidentally drop it if he were to get more ‘surprise’), he looks up and meets with a brunette haired boy, who is having a blinding smile on his face, eyes crinkling into half-moon shapes. Hyunjin's eyes slightly grow, genuinely doesn’t know what was he talking about so he blinks his eyes at the boy blankly and asks,

“What is done?" He promptly glances at the stacked papers and sees "Even A Fool Knows" printed on the cover, shifting his attention to the boy afterwards, "Seungmin? Minnie?”

Seungmin rolls his eyes and scrunches his nose in annoyance, punching the raven haired boy on the shoulder and earning an expected dramatic reaction from Hyunjin. Seungmin stares at him with arms crossed over his chest, unamused by the drama queen's behaviour.

“Should have made you the main actor instead of Minho. But, there’s no one who can shoot the video better than you do,” Seungmin grunts loudly, letting out a sigh, and Hyunjin remains confused, still doesn’t get what the brunette is mumbling about. He racks his brain, trying to come up with anything but there’s nothing. He can’t remember shit. He gazes at Seungmin, striking his puppy eyes in hope the brunette will answer him.

Seungmin gives him a sideways glance and averts his gaze, turning around so he doesn't have to face the older boy. “I’m not telling you.”

“What does Minho have to do with this?” Hyunjin asks, pouting his lips as his hand reaches for Seungmin’s forearm, clinging to it and shaking it while pestering the latter to answer. Seungmin heaves out a defeated sigh, slowly turning to face Hyunjin and pursing his lips. He stares at Hyunjin for a moment before replying.

“You always forget,” Seungmin mutters, there's a hint of disappointment in his voice. He brings his hand up and places it on Hyunjin's head, softly ruffling his hair before pulling his hand away. “It’s a script for our club’s short movie. I’ve been working on it with Changbin for a month. We have to submit it to the school, remember?”

Realization must have been obvious on Hyunjin’s face that a soft smile grows on Seungmin’s face. Seungmin can only shake his head at Hyunjin's forgetfulness. It doesn't happen that often, but enough for Seungmin to remind him every time.

“Read it up. Tell me what you think about it once you’re done reading.”

—*—

It’s past dinner when Hyunjin texts Seungmin. 

Seungmin is working on his Math homework when he hears a few knocks on his bedroom’s door. He quickly rises from the chair and goes to open the door, revealing his mother. He blinks at her curiously. “What is it, mom?”

“Your phone has been ringing for a while now. Thought it might be urgent.”

“Oh, right.” Seungmin momentarily forgets that he left his phone in the kitchen to charge, because the socket in his bedroom doesn’t work and in the kitchen is the only available one in the house. “Thanks, mom, and sorry.”

Without wasting any time, Seungmin rushes to the kitchen and quickly checks his phone. There’s a bunch of texts from Hyunjin consisting of ‘Kim Seungmin’, ‘Seungmin’ or ‘Minnie’, and nothing else. His phone dings, indicating a new text comes in. 

From: Jinnie

It’s nothing. Sorry.

Seungmin knows there’s something wrong. He has always known if there’s something not right with Hyunjin. He just knows. He quickly texts back to Hyunjin.

To: Jinnie

I’ll be at your house in 10 minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, Seungmin is in Hyunjin’s bedroom, sitting at the side of the bed with Hyunjin next to him. He can tell Hyunjin’s been crying from the way his eyes puffed and his nose reddened. There's a few dried streak of tears on Hyunjin's cheeks that Seungmin doesn't dare to point them out. Hyunjin hasn’t said anything since he enters the house. He invites Seungmin in and Hyunjin takes his hand, heading straight to Hyunjin’s bedroom without even greeting Hyunjin's parents in the living room. Seungmin can only give an apologetic smile when they pass by his parents. Seungmin offers nothing but his hand to be held as a comfort to the older boy, to which Hyunjin gladly takes and they stay in silence for the next few minutes.

Hyunjin finally dares to look up and lock his eyes with Seungmin. His face seems dark and hollow, as if every brightness has been taken away from him, and his eyes are sorrowful and in pain, brimming with tears that threaten to fall. It's obvious to Seungmin that he’s at the verge of breaking down at that moment.

They stay quiet until Hyunjin breaks the silence between them.

“After our meeting, Minho, Hana, Jisung and I stayed behind for a bit. And then, Jisung wanted to leave, so I sent him to the school gate because, you know, he’s a scaredy cat.” Hyunjin lets out a dry laugh before he continues, “I went back to our club’s room and saw them happily talking and laughing. You know how Minho never really smiles when he’s with us, or anyone at all? I swear he has heart eyes and a blinding smile when he looks at her,” he pauses and swallows the lump in his throat.

“Seungmin, I think Minho likes Hana.”

And Hyunjin bursts into uncontrollable tears, burying his face on Seungmin’s shoulder when the brunette pulls him into a warm hug.

Seungmin has witnessed a fair few of Hyunjin’s heartbreaks ever since they were in middle school, so having to witness another one is not new to him. Seungmin is sure Hyunjin will get over Minho soon, like Hyunjin always did.

But, he’s wrong.

Hyunjin still likes Minho even after he knows Minho likes Hana.

—*—

“Min, you okay?”

A low voice and a tap on his shoulder snaps Seungmin back to reality as he turns his head to the side to see a boy with pretty freckles on his face looking at him with a concerned gaze. He flashes a quick smile to Felix, who is moving over and taking a seat next to him. There is no one else but the two of them in their club’s room.

“What do you mean?”

“You spaced out a lot these days. Is there something bothering you?”

“Nothing. Just this script needs to be reviewed a little more, and I’m just tired, I guess.”

A smile grows on Seungmin’s face but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and Felix notices that. The boy reaches out his hand and holds onto Seungmin’s forearm, squeezing it lightly. 

“You know you’re always bad at lying.” Felix chuckles before his expression turns serious. An expression Seungmin doesn’t like seeing on Felix’s face. “It’s about Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

Seungmin immediately looks away from Felix’s gaze, staring down at his feet, and fingers beginning to fiddle the hem of his shirt. He feels like there’s more weight added to his already heavy chest at the question. He chooses not to answer but Felix knows better.

“Do you think you will regret it if you never confess to him?”

Seungmin chews his lower lip, thinking about the question Felix throws at him. It’s a lie if he never thinks of confessing to Hyunjin about his feelings, in fact he does, every single day, but there are always after-effects. The after-effects he can’t bring himself to face, and one of them is drifting apart with his own best friend. He can’t lose his best friend. 

Especially not Hyunjin, the one he cares the most, the one he loves more than he loves himself.

“He still likes Minho. He knows Minho likes Hana, but he wants to keep on liking him. I mean, I’m not trying to be selfish, but when Hyunjin came to me telling Minho likes Hana, I thought Hyunjin would get over him, like he always did with his past crushes. A small part of me was hoping ‘Oh, maybe it’s finally my chance now. Maybe I can finally confess and tell him about my feelings for him,’ but then, he came the next morning telling me he’s going to try getting Minho to like him. I had to hold on to the wall to not collapse in front of him.”

The warm tears accumulating in Seungmin's eyes finally stream down his cheeks as he can no longer hold the pain in his chest. Sometimes he wishes he doesn't love Hyunjin as much as he loves him right now. He has tried numerous times to get rid of his feelings for Hyunjin for his own sake, but it always comes back, because Hyunjin is always around.

When Felix offers his shoulder for Seungmin to cry on, Seungmin doesn't hesitate to bury his face onto it, sobbing quietly.

—*—

Hyunjin feels angry. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know where his anger comes from. He just feels angry, for some reason he couldn't figure out. Every time he looks at Minho and Hana, laughing out loud, smiling at each other, making a joke of each other, it angers him to the point his heart aches, or is it his heart aching so much that made him angry?

Hyunjin doesn't know anymore.

"Hey Jinnie," a slightly nasally voice interrupts his train of thought, and Hyunjin briefly looks up and meets the owner of the voice’s brown eyes. It’s Seungmin. "You okay?"

Seungmin plops down next to Hyunjin on the floor, making himself comfortable as his eyes promptly glance at a distance before shifting his attention to the boy beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing here, Minnie? Aren't you supposed to help them with the scripts?" Hyunjin points out, gesturing to the two people standing not far from them, still laughing over who knows what. Hyunjin grits his teeth at the sight.

"They'll be fine, but you're not," Seungmin says, reaching for Hyunjin's clenched fist, gently opening it up. "You're hurting yourself."

Once Hyunjin opens up his palm, there are reddish digging marks on the palm, from clenching his fists with too much force. Seungmin gently runs over his thumb on Hyunjin's palm in a circle, giving him a relief and soothing sensation. Hyunjin closes his eyes instinctively, letting himself melt in Seungmin’s comforting touch.

It’s always comfortable being around Seungmin. He can’t deny that. He doesn’t have to say a word, but the brunette knows him like the back of his hand. Seungmin always knows how to read him, like an open book. He wonders if he's just  _ easy _ to read or it's who Seungmin can easily read through him.

They were nine when they first met each other, and in Hyunjin’s personal opinion, their first encounter was a little awful, on Seungmin's part at least. It was rather reckless on his part. On one evening, Seungmin was peacefully walking home from a convenience store near his neighbourhood, minding his own business while eating his favourite mint chocolate chips ice cream when Hyunjin decided to jump down from a tree instead of climbing down properly because he didn’t know how to, and he ended up falling on Seungmin’s back.

Seungmin cried out loud as soon as he felt an immeasurable pain in his right arm, tears streaming down his cheeks like a waterfall.

Hyunjin had accidentally broken Seungmin’s arm.

Because of that, Seungmin had to be hospitalized for two weeks and missed school. Hyunjin and Seungmin were classmates in elementary school, but they weren’t really close due to their opposite personalities. Hyunjin felt really bad for breaking Seungmin’s arm that he offered to be his side and help the boy whenever he could, at least until Seungmin’s broken arm fully healed, to which Seungmin agreed without a hitch, thinking the older boy needed to pay back for what he had done, and surprisingly they matched really well despite their personalities. They spent more and more time even after Seungmin’s arm healed and became an inseparable duo since then.

Hyunjin smiles at the memory of his and Seungmin’s bittersweet first meeting. When Hyunjin opens his eyes, he sees Minho and Hana being so close together, whispering into each other’s ears, and making his heart ache more than it already does.

It feels like his heart is shredded into pieces.

Maybe he needs to let his feelings go.

Before Hyunjin can let the aching feeling dwell deep inside him, he looks away, shifting his attention to the brunette next to him, who is having his focus solely on his palm. He tilts his head and watches Seungmin carefully rub his open palm with a serious face, hair smoothly falling into his eyes. When Seungmin blinks his eyes, his long lashes flutter along. It’s the first time Hyunjin notices that Seungmin has pretty and long lashes. He also notices that Seungmin’s feature, especially his jawline is getting more prominent with him losing a bit of his baby cheeks. But, Seungmin still looks cute, at least in his eyes.

A smile unknowingly grows on his face.

Why has he never noticed it before?

"Why are you doing this, Minnie?" he asks, genuinely curious, eyes fixating at the boy. Skinship is not foreign between them, in fact they do it a lot that sometimes people around them mistake them for being lovers when they're just best friends, but somehow the back of his mind wonders if there's more meaning to it.

Seungmin stays silent for the next few minutes, but his thumb doesn’t stop moving. Hyunjin quietly and patiently anticipates. “Do you really want to know?”

Hyunjin hums and blinks.

“Are you really ready to hear it?”

Hyunjin doesn’t answer, but he nods eventually.

“Because I love you.”

Silence. There’s no gasp, or breath hitch, just the sound of the winds, the birds chirping and their friends’ chattering in the background fills the atmosphere. Seungmin still doesn’t stop caressing Hyunjin’s open palm. Hyunjin’s head becomes dizzy all of sudden, filled with many thoughts at once. He's already aware about Seungmin’s feelings when he accidentally overheard Seungmin and Felix’s conversation the other day, but hearing Seungmin admitting it right before his eyes makes his own feelings overwhelming, chaotic, and erratic.

“But, you know I love—"

"Minho. Yes, I'm aware," Seungmin cuts him off, finally lifting his head up and locking his glassy eyes with Hyunjin's. His lips curl into a sweet yet pained smile. "That's okay, because loving you by myself is enough for me."

Hyunjin’s body stiffens. His brain is not processing. When Seungmin eventually stops caressing his palm and gets up to leave, Hyunjin is still frozen and remains there.

One second ticks by. One minute ticks by. When it’s half minute more to three minutes, Hyunjin’s eyes widen, immediately standing up and running over to Seungmin.

“Seungmin, wait!” Hyunjin yells, stopping two meters away from Seungmin. Seungmin halts his pace but he doesn’t turn. He just stands there, not moving.

“Will you—” Hyunjin pauses, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “Will you wait for me?”

Seungmin makes a swift turn, staring him wide-eyed in disbelief. “W-What did you say?” he asks, stammering.

“Will you wait for me? It’s going to take a while for me to completely get over Minho, but I think I can do it.”

“Hyunjin, you do realize this is not a joking matter, right?” Seungmin stresses in a serious tone, still can’t believe what his ears are hearing. It's rather that he still can't believe those words come out of Hyunjin's mouth. 

Hyunjin firmly nods. “I do. Now that I know how you feel about me, I’m willing to try. For you.”

Hyunjin watches Seungmin’s expression turn sour, brows knitted together with his eyes brimming in tears before he crouches down on the floor, hugging his knees and burying his face in between. Soon, the air fills with a soft sound of cries and sniffles, coming from the brunette. Hyunjin’s lips curl into a small smile as he steps closer to Seungmin, getting down and engulfing him into his warm embrace from the back.

“So, is this a yes?” Hyunjin carefully asks after a while, pressing his cheek on Seungmin's shoulder blade, out of habit. 

“No! It’s not a yes, until I said, yes,” Seungmin protests in a muffled and whiny voice, still hiding his face between his knees. He doesn’t bother shaking off Hyunjin’s body on him.

Hyunjin smiles fondly. That’s definitely a yes when that sentence comes out of Seungmin’s mouth. No matter how long Seungmin will take to say yes, Hyunjin will wait.

There are times, no effort is needed to fall in love, it can happen in a blink of an eye, as fast as lightning, or in a heartbeat, but also there are times, effort is needed to be in love.

It could be hard, it could be easy, but Hyunjin is willing to invest his efforts if it means he could fall in love with Seungmin. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for happy ending sooooo :D I hope you've enjoyed. Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are highly appreciated!~


End file.
